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Weave in rehearsal
Photo credit: Margherita Coppolino

I was going to save this post until tonight but I have too many thoughts swirling about in my head to wait any longer. I'm blogging on the train. Did you know I did that sometimes? I'm not one of these "plan everything you're going to say" bloggers. A feeling grabs me, I get the urge to write, so I do. Unfortunately I have several blog posts in draft form - this being one of them.

I digress...as usual.

I'm on the train heading into the city for White Night. Weave Movement Theatre is performing a piece on the Ausdance stage tonight. I'm a part of Weave so, you guessed it, I'll be performing too.

I'm ridiculously excited

This is my first public performance. Like, public public. I've done other performances in the past on stages where audiences have comprised of the performer's family, friends and interested others but nothing like this.

I don't quite know what to expect, but it hasn't diminished my excitement. Not one bit.

I've spent a great part of my life hiding, I guess. Diminishing myself. Making myself as unobtrusive as possible. This body attracts enough attention as it is, don't attract any more! Of course it's all very well and good to get up on stage and deliver some inspirational words, showing how clever you are but to perform...?

Historically I guess that's been fraught with a whole heap of minefields...that, in some form, still exist today. Once upon a time the only job though suitable for people like me was on the stage performing simply because we were physically different. Then came the 70's and the big push to get us off the stage and "into real jobs"...to the point where anyone still on the stage was frowned upon.

I guess the Arts hasn't been kind to performers with different physical appearances either. To my mind the Arts has usually celebrated bodies that model perfection, perfect technique, pitch, delivery and poise. Assumptions are made of the body that is physically different. It is not capable of that which is worthy to be seen on stage and given critical acclaim and so it is relegated to specific workshops designed to give the person with a disability/difference " something to do". Audiences are more like cheer squads; cheering on the performers for simply having a go, rather than looking at the work critically and considering it worthy of serious reviews and potential development.

Weave Movement Theatre is turning that kind of thinking on it's head. We are artists. We are dancers.

I am a dancer.

So here I am, on the train, about to put this different little body on the stage and invite hundreds of people to look because what I and my fellow ensemble have created together is truly beautiful, artistic, creative. Look at what we can do! See the beauty we are portraying right here on this stage? This is what beauty means to us! Watch beauty as we see it translated in our movements! Do you see it? Do you hear it? We do!

Caroline Bowditch, an Australian born performance artist and choreographer has choreographed our piece. She has encouraged us to own it. "Know you belong up there on that stage!" she has encouraged. "Own it! Own the stage!" Each time she has said it it's been like an affirmation to me. I hope to get up there tonight and be truly present, owning that space, looking out at the audience and inviting them to see what we see. I am so excited I can barely contain it.

My hope is that we encourage the audience to think about dance in a different way; seeing the potential for everyone to express themselves through dance, regardless of physicality.

I can't wait to get up there!