Motivation

She will be the motivation that will keep me on the road. She has scrimped and saved to be able to purchase a car. A car suitable for the modifications she needs to be able to transport her wheelchair and allow her to drive.

The modifications cost twice the price of the car. The government only funds a maximum of $10,000. 

So, for a young lady with a beautiful soul I will cover the kilometres so that she will be able to.

The Other Side of the Coin

I've always been confused by people who seem determined to dig their own holes, in spite of having clear examples of hope in front of them. Is it that they just want to wallow in their own pain? Is it more comfortable to be there? Does the working toward creating a bright future seem too hard...or is their picture of a bright future unrealistic?

I consider that I'm living a bright life, despite the shadowy bits. The sunshine always casts shadows...and that's ok. Shadows are part of the landscape. I have people who love me. I have a job that pays the bills. I am independent. I am strong, fit and healthy. Wouldn't you think that would be enough to convince someone that life with a genetic condition is still good, purposeful and fulfilling?

You would think so.

But there are those who, in spite of the brightness and soothing warmth of the sun will only look for and focus on the shadows. It's as though the presence of the shadows consume the very brightness that is still shining.

I met a woman and her 8 week old baby daughter in a serendipitous happening at a local supermarket. I was oblivious to her presence until she stopped me and blurted out, "My daughter's like you!" I looked in the carriage and there she was; this dear little baby girl who most definitely did have achondroplasia like me.

We discovered that we lived very close to each other and thus began a friendship of sorts. This woman leaned on me for support, reassurance and advice. Her family watched our family and we were their examples of a family with short statured members all living fulfilling, purposeful, happy lives - despite surgeries, despite attracting public attention simply by walking out our front door.

But it was the staring and comments that this woman focused on. It angered her, upset her...and it was as though she expected that the rest of humanity would not look or stare. In a perfect world this would be lovely...but we don't live in a perfect world.

Instead of watching how we coped with a curious world and gleaning information about how to help her daughter cope, this woman got angrier and angrier...reacting to any form of staring or comments that we or her daughter received. She did not know how to differentiate the natural curiosity of an innocent three year old child and the obvious, cruel taunts of a group of teens that should know better. Staring was staring and the starers, whether they be a three year old child or a sixty year old man bore the wrath of a mother who, I believe deep down, was having a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that her baby was born "not quite right".

And, despite all our encouragement and support, the family never really got over it. The little girls difference was at the forefront of their minds all the time. The girl grew up very, very angry to the point of responding with animalistic snarls towards any form of attention she got. The mother never taught her how to be independent so she never learned skills like cooking for herself, shopping, travelling alone. Her mother never even let her daughter have her own ATM card for fear that she would be mugged and robbed, therefore teaching her daughter that the world was out to get her, that she was incapable of defending herself. She never learned to shop for herself, never learned how to catch a bus or a train on her own. 

Now in her mid-20's the girl is a recluse; never leaving the house because she can't deal with the world. She has no job, no life skills, no confidence.

And I started wondering if there was more I could have done...but I know there's nothing more. Sometimes your life can be a good example for another and yet they choose to see what they want to see. It's still not enough. They want anonymity for their child...that sweet, blessed invisibility that the average Joe-Bloe is born with just by being average...or normal...or unaffected by any genetic anomaly. The human race is a curious race and we all, even those of us who are born "different", are curious about anything or anyone who is different to the norm. 

Yesterday I bumped into the mother who was still stuck in her angst and resentment. She acknowledged that by doing everything for her daughter she had created a rod for her own back and raised a child who will never be independent because she was never taught how. She remained negative the entire time I spoke with her and, after telling her of my running plan, became the first person who doubted it's success.

I always knew that I'd been raised to be independent, that by being born first and expected to be the "big sister" I had responsibility thrust upon me at an early age; that by being put into ballet classes, Brownies, Guides, Little Athletics and Youth Groups I was encouraged to be out and about in the community and learned to cope with people's natural curiosity and sometimes rudeness...but I also learned social skills just as any other child my age would; that by being just one of seven children I learned to fend for myself because there was no time to mollycoddle and over protect. But to see the other side of the coin yesterday was a real eye opener and I saw what could've happened if things had've been different for me.

The Plan with a life of it's own

So, I mentioned yesterday that I'm hatching a running plan.

Melbourne to Adelaide. 800km in 30 days to raise awareness for Dwarfism Awareness Month in October. The run would be completed on the first day of the SSPA Convention. 

Little did I know how many people would get behind me and go, "Yeah! Do it! You know you can!" The more this has happened, the more excited I've become. Akash is so willing to come along and film. Voula is behind me 100%. Voula's brother wants to drive a support vehicle. I've had suggestions of a personal trainer who would be interested in training me to get ready. Other people are helping me plan estimated distances per day. I've had people saying they'll support the run financially. I'm going to ask Mum & Dad if they wouldn't mind going on ahead to each day's destination with their motor home & that could be my home base on the road.

It's possible. This could be really, truly possible.

When I went to the chiropractors yesterday Alyssa asked me, "So Leisa...what plans are you hatching this year?"

"Well....." I answered....."Funny you should ask that...." And I launched into the plan.

She was SO enthusiastic and encouraging! "Go for it!" she enthused. "You could do it!"

I wonder if she'd come along to adjust my hip flexors at the end of each day....?

Crazy. This is crazy..... But as I ran 7km in an hour this morning I thought it was well within the realms of possible. Thirty k's a day is achievable. It wouldn't all be done in one hit. I could run ten, have a good break, refuel, stretch, run another ten k's, repeat the rest break, run the final ten.

That could work.

So far no one has told me NO. They may think its crazy. I'd have to agree with them....but no one has said, "You can't."

Not even me.

Mind over matter

Yesterday I did it. I smashed my 12km goal. I ran a total of 12.11km. The first 7km felt great, the next 3km I started to wane, the last 2km were hell.

But I did it. I ran 12km. It may have taken me 1 hour, 48 minutes and 4 seconds, but I did it - at an average pace of 8:56/km. Not bad, considering I dragged the dogs along who, for some part, we're not the most cooperative companions.

In some ways I can't believe it myself. Me, who once upon a time couldn't even run one lap of the school oval. Twelve kilometres! I can't even...what?

I'm setting my sights further now. My mind is already contemplating 15km. Not yet though. I want to be able to run twelve comfortably first. I thought I'd arrived when I hit ten...but now...the sky seems to be the limit and I have fantasies of one morning donning my running shoes and running across Casey county...then to the other side of Melbourne...then back again to the coast...then turning around and running clear across the country to Fremantle...a'la Forrest Gump. Now that would make the news. 

I can see the headlines now:

Woman with Dwarfism runs to promote awareness!

Oh boy, that's got me thinking for Dwarfism Awareness Month - October 2014. Do I dare even contemplate it?

Do I?

I mean, my 2014 theme word is ACTION. 

Why just think about it when you can put it into ACTION?

But first, I think I'll mull this over for a bit.

Board on Holidays

In my adult years I've not been one for board games. I'm now kind of understanding how my mother used to feel about playing them when we were kids. As kids we were mad for them - Monopoly, Snakes & Ladders, Cluedo, Ludo, Chinese Checkers and some that I can kind of recall playing but don't know the name of. Collecting jigsaw pieces of HR Puffenstuff tickles something of a memory somewhere. Anyway, Mum hated playing them possibly because some of us were ridiculously competitive and would crack the sads something chronic if we lost (not mentioning any names!). I'm not crazy about them because I feel similar to how I feel when the phone rings - somehow trapped, as though I'm glued to the seat and can't get away. Weird, I know.

For some reason though, yesterday I had a sudden desire to play The Game of Life with the family. Game of Life was one of our favorites as kids and I felt like sharing it with the tribe.

Do you think I could find it anywhere yesterday? Not on your Nelly! I tried Kmart here and even braved Westfield Fountain Gate and searched through Kmart, Big W, Target and Games World to no avail. The Game of Life seems to have gone wherever the HR Puffenstuff Game ended up.

However, we did manage to have a game today. Break the Safe is a pretty cool game where players race against the clock to diffuse booby traps and collect keys to unlock a safe, all whilst avoiding the Guard and Guard Dog who will lock you up if you come within their line of sight.

Unfortunately, our safe seems to now be dysfunctional so we had to make do with a timer on an iPhone. It was still just as fun.

I hope I can find The Game of Life. I'd like to play it for old times sake.

How about you? Any favorite board games in your house?

2013 Roundup

So, before I really get into 2014 let's do the traditional roundup of the old year - that being 2013 of course.

What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?

In 2013 I participated in three Fun Runs - Run for the Kids in March, the Mother's Day Classic in May and the Colour Run in October.

Participated in Dancing Ground - a festival of dance and alternative culture. 

Ran 10km non-stop. Not once, but six times!

Did you keep your new years' resolutions? 

I make it a point not to make resolutions but I settle on a theme word for the year and try to live according to that word. The word for 2013 was simplicity. I feel as though I managed to live by this word in that I'm letting go of things that have held me back, enjoyed preparing and eating more simple, yet nutritious meals, enjoyed getting back to handicrafts such as knitting and crochet and sometimes just stood and breathed in the quiet and solitude of a moment. I would like to continue in this mindset during 2014 whilst living a life of action - the theme word for 2014.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my friend Carly and her husband Matt welcomed their precious Lucinda Hope. 

Did anyone close to you die? 

No. No one close.

What countries did you visit this year? 

I stayed firmly put in the land of Terra Australis.

What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? 

I'd like a new job and know that this requires me to actively work towards getting one.

What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 

Thankfully, no dates from 2013 are etched on my memory and, given the fact that I already have etched dates from other years for all the wrong reasons, this is how I like it.

What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?

Hitting the 10km mark with my running.

Continuing to learn how to successfully self-soothe and manage my own emotions in healthier ways.

What was your biggest failure?

I don't believe in failures. I do however, believe in learning how things don't work or learning things from each experience.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had a cracking bout of bronchitis in either July or August - to the point where I stayed in bed for several days. If you know anything about me then you'd know that for me to stay in bed for several days must've meant that I was really sick!

What was the best thing you bought? 

My new Singer sewing machine.

Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Chloe's. That young woman continues to be a shining light, a soothing balm to the soul. She made every single gift she gave at Christmas and each gift reflected how much she knew you and how much she loves you. 

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Our nation's leaders. All of them. Leadership challenges, question time...enough said. I hold grave fears for our country under Abbott.

The actions of particular football players and the attitudes of clubs and AFL hot-shots in general.

Dwarf entertainers who can't see the perpetuation of certain cultural misconceptions by agreeing to be entertainment to those who will never be educated.

Where did most of your money go?

Rent. Always and ever rent. 

What did you get really, really, really excited about? 

The prospect of a new niece joining our family early in 2014. It's been a long time since we've had a babe to dote on.

What song will always remind you of 2013? 

Hmm...none really. I didn't really listen to mainstream radio. 

Compared to this time last year, are you: a) Happier or sadder?

Happier...because I choose to be.

b) Thinner or fatter?

Leaner

c) Richer or poorer?

Neither 

What do you wish you'd done more of? 

Reading, meditating, writing

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Always procrastinating and doubting myself.

How did you spend Christmas? 

We spent it here at home as a family for the first time in three years. I did all of the cooking and was surprised at how unstressed I was about it. Everything worked well, tasted lovely and it was simple.

Afterwards we had supper at Serrin and Leo's which was also wonderful and peaceful.

Did you fall in love in 2013? 

No. I just love.

How many one-night stands?

Zero. Honestly, I don't see the appeal and never have.

What was your favourite TV program? 

Fringe - although I watched it on DVD.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? 

I hate no one. 

What was the best book you read? 

According to Goodreads I only read three books this year. I did really enjoy The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom at the beginning of the year. He is becoming one of my favorite authors.

What was your greatest musical discovery? 

Hmm...I'm always discovering new and interesting artists by listening to Triple J these days. Too many to mention! Lots of indie, folk stuff I suppose.

What did you want and get? 

Peace.

What did you want and not get?

A new job.

What was your favourite film of this year? 

Again, I'm not sure. I watched so many! I'm becoming quite partial to futuristic, sci-Fi dramas lately.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I was 46 and I believe we went out to dinner!

What was one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 

Nothing. Honestly, I was content for myself. I wish my three older offspring secured employment. That would have been wonderful. 

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Comfortable, emerging hippy.

What kept you sane?

Running. Everything melts away. All things slot into place and the way forward becomes clearer.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? 

Tom Hiddleston (Loki)

Josh Jackson (Peter Bishop)

What political issue stirred you the most? 

The NDIS and the fact that it looks as though Mr Abbott's going to scrap it.

Who did you miss? 

No one. Everyone I love is still around.

Who was the best new person you met?

Samuel Johnson - whom I'd always admired on TV. Interviewing him for Take 5 was such a pleasure. Such a genuine, big-hearted Aussie bloke. The fact that he saw me in the crowd just before he took off on his ride and came down off the stage to hug me & suggest where to stand so I could see everything was a testament to his genuine, caring nature.

Carly Findlay - although we've only met a couple of times I consider her a friend. She conducts herself with grace, poise and tenacity. I'm honored to know her.

Lauren from Sparkling Adventures. I only met her briefly at Dancing Grounc and was touched by her grace and peace despite her circumstances.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013. 

I need to begin believing in myself as much as others do. I am actually talented in many areas, I just need to trust it.

God resides within me as love.

Next post - 2014 - One Word.