Nurturing the Creative

I bit the bullet today and decided to enrol in a Photography course. This is the first time I have spent so much money on a course for pure enjoyment, rather than gaining a certificate in the hope of a better job. I am really looking forward to it. I hope it's not too basic, but at the same time I hope it's basic enough for me to get a sound grasp of everything so I can start creating and capturing some really good stuff rather than pointing and shooting and then occasionally getting something that I look at and say, "Hey, not bad!"

It's all a part of nurturing something in me that has laid dormant for so long. I am tired of just going through the motions of life. I want to do something that I love doing just for the sheer fun of it.

I'm also excited about potential pathways for doing this course. My sister asked me recently if I could come down and just do some candid shots of her children playing...who knows....maybe I will become proficient enough for other people to ask as well?

In any case, I'm excited.

Dream On

I seem to be devoid of dreams. I just seem to be going through the motions of life.....home, work, home, weekend, work - rinse, repeat.

Not that it realy bothers me. I like simplicity. I can find joy and peace in the most mundane tasks, however I don't want it to always be this way. I know there's something I'm supposed to be doing.

I was thinking that it was something to do with working in child care. Now I'm not so sure. I don't know what my dreams are anymore.

I'm not sad about it though. I'll have them again.

What I want it to be

I have very definite ideas about what I want this blog to be. I want it to be more a of a reflection of my hopes and dreams and concentrating more on the positive steps I am making as a human being, a woman, a wife and a mother.

I think the reason I am becoming a bit more hidden in my other diary is because I have aired too many negatives, too many of the awful bits that have happened. Naturally, my readers have formed opinions and taken sides...mine. I guess this is only natural, given that the only perspective they've been getting is mine, but I do think it's unfair because he has a story to tell as well....

...and he is a good man....

So, in this space I am going to resist the temptation to write word-vomit when I am sad, frustrated or angry. I want to turn the focus around to being on positive ideas on how to make situations better or how to respond so that I am not so hurt, angry or frustrated.

Let's just get this out in to the ether then.....I love him. I really do. He is the first of the five best things to ever happen to me. I have repeated this so many times because it's true...maybe it's a mantra.

It's a good one to have.

Inspirations and Introductions

So why start a new blog?

I don't know.

The other one is a diary. This is a blog...I guess. Will this become bigger than the other? I don't know. I guess that remains to be seen. Will this one bring followers? Maybe. Do I want that to happen? Maybe.

I think what I like about this one is that right at this very point in time I can write and be completely anonymous. I can write and readers at this point won't have any preconceived notions about me. Sometimes I wonder about my other diary because I find that I have possibly revealed more than I ever intended to and more than I sometimes feel comfortable with. I have a sneaking suspicion that it will happen here too.

Anyway, introductions may be in order....

Hi there!

I am Leisa, aged 43, wife of one husband, mother of three adults and one teenager, sister of 6 siblings, eldest child of two of the most wonderful parents anyone could ever wish for.

I have two dogs, two cats, four rabbits, a guinea pig, two rats, two mice and three budgerigars.

I am Australian, have only traveled out of my country once but have a strong passion to travel more...hopefully to a country that is so culturally different to my own.

I work as an Administration Assistant in our state capital and work amongst the most awesome people.

I love photography and own a Nikon D60 that I pretty much use as a point and shoot. One of my goals is to teach myself what that little baby can do from the manual I was given and a Nikon DVD a friend bought for me.

There....that's some of the practical things out of the way. It's a very sketchy introduction isn't it? Sorry. I'm lost for words at the moment. There's so much more of me than who I am married to, how many children I have birthed, my pets, my work and what I like. I know that. I hope this blog becomes so much more than those things too.

For a while know I have this strong prompting within me that there is something more that I am supposed to be doing....so much more I should be. It's almost driving me mad right now. I want to know what it is. I don't know how to search for it. I think it has something to do with giving to something....some cause that is beyond me and my little microcosm. I think it has something to do with children...and families....and disadvantage...and community. But what?

Is that even it?

Please God, what is it? I can't just keep doing this same old same old for the next 50 years!