Hi there readers.
I know I've been AWOL. As a blogger I'm acutely aware of this. I've been thinking a lot. During those times I've had periods where I've just wanted to grab the keyboard and write and write through an inspirational stream of consciousness. There have been many other times where I've just wanted to pull the plug on this blogging business....well....this one in particular. I find that I don't know how to write my experiences of being a person of short stature because...well...it's just me doing life. Doing life at 117cm is pretty much the same as it is at 185cm...I guess. Nothing much to report really. My spine is doing great, no tingling or numbness anywhere - which is pretty cool considering my age. Still...I never know what's around the corner but I'll cross that bridge if ever I happen to come across it in my travels.
I've been thinking of simply rubbing all this out and starting again mainly because the biggest journey I have taken is the journey towards wellness - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually - and I want to talk more about that. This is a journey that I think everyone can relate to so maybe I will just be adding to the myriad of blogs out there dedicated to the same things. I don't know. There have been times I've thought about rubbing all this out and not starting again at all. I'm not a consistent blogger, I don't stick to a theme, I don't network. I suck.
I keep thinking of the concept of Girl Interrupted. It's certainly felt like that for me. Girlhood was interrupted at the age of nineteen for me, and now I've had the chance to start agin in my 40's. I'm discovering so many new things, confronting a lot of old things and working out exactly who Leisa is without all her props - standing alone. Should I write about that? Does anyone want to read about all that? Should anyone read about all that? Is this journey simply a private matter? All of these questions I ponder often as I run, commute or stare off into space.
Just so it's out there, I'm in therapy. Two lots of therapy to be honest. One to work on just me, the other to work on....other stuff. I gotta say that personal therapy has to be the best thing ever invented. I've been seeing this particular therapist on and off for the better part of fifteen years and each time I head in for another group of the allotted 10 mental health plan sessions (Because the 11th Commandment states that: "Thou shalt be mentally well and sorted out after 10 sessions or else!") it's such a relief to know that I don't have to waste time going through all the background junk because.....you know, TEN SESSIONS ONLY! Whose got time for background stuff?
Anyway...my therapist has well and truly gotten the impression that I mean business this time. I think he worked that out by session one when I came in with something I'd written and read it out loud to him. I could see him mentally pulling up his sleeves, rubbing his hands together and saying, "Right!" It's good to be able to talk with someone objective; whose not emotionally invested. You can say whatever you need to say without fear of upsetting anyone, offending anyone or treading on eggshells. Because of this, you gain clearer insights, start to see a way forward, work on your own goals and formulate strategies on how to get there.
Why people are afraid to say they're in therapy or counselling is beyond me. It's such a positive and powerful thing to do. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Thanks for listening.
