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Not that I hate Christmas. Far from it! If I could take the whole of December and January off to fully bask in the goodness of the season I would; but I can't. And everything and everybody has their final break ups, Christmas parties, concerts, gatherings and get togethers over the last week of November right up until Christmas Eve so, in the words of Truvy (Dolly Parton) from Steel Magnolias, "I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger!"
And I can say that because I'm "in the club" - kind of!
This Mama Bear also decided to hand make a lot of her Christmas presents this year too....so I'm pulling a lot of late nighters. Silly me. I have a quilt to get finished and wrapped by Christmas Eve....and I have a sinking feeling that it's just not going to happen. Luckily there's a Plan B. I found it yesterday.
I need to remember that if I'm going to go all out in the Make & Bake Christmas stakes I need to start getting my act together in February so that I can have everything done (hopefully) by the beginning of December. As it stands now I have an entire quilt to put together and I still have squares to cut - after this I will have cut 588 squares. Yes, you read it right - and that's not counting the 20+ squares I totally stuffed up!
Because family members and gift recipients actually read this blog I can't post pictures of the hand made goodness so you'll have to wait till after Christmas Day!
The desire to hibernate is also due to the fact that there are things that have happened and are happening that have made life seem just way too big. There are times where I feel, "I'm too old for this sh*t!" whilst at the same time thinking, "I'm not grown up enough for this sh*t!"
After my last foray into the world of radio broadcasting I spent a week feeling incredibly angry that after centuries of "my people" being given away as GIFTS, seen as oddities, sources of amusement to kings and queens and commoners and guinea pigs for doctors there are some pockets of society who still hold to this idea and there will be those of similar stature to myself who would willingly offer themselves up to be part of it. For a while I agonised how to try and stop this and I found myself getting more and more stressed by it.
Then I let it go. I can't stop it, nor is it my job to do so. For some reason the care blew away on the wind as one would blow dandelion seeds. I am not them. I am me and what they choose to do with their own bodies and physicality has no bearing on me. I will continue to live just as I have always done. I will grab each opportunity and run with it. I will get out there and be part of the community as much as possible and trust that as I do so people are being educated in a positive way. There are times where this is rewarded. Yesterday was one of those days where I had a most lovely conversation with a father and his adorable four year old son as we walked across the road to the bank together. Their willingness to ask questions made me respond with an open heart and after the encounter my face couldn't stop smiling.
I need to keep remembering times like those. All the time.
Two more days. Two more days until I have three weeks of unfettered freedom. Well...that's the way I'm looking at it anyway.
