I've really struggled with this one. Over the course of 28+ years of being a parent there have been a myriad of tough decisions I've had to make; all to do with surgeries. It's always a tough thing signing that piece of paper giving your consent to an anesthetic, intravenous drugs and the actual surgery. Sometimes there's been the tough decision to trade one set of problems over another. Do we choose Door 1 where we do nothing and hope that things remain stable (which is highly unlikely) or run the risk of things getting worse and running into some serious problems? Or do we choose Door 2 where we go ahead, fix the problem but know the fixing comes with it's own set of lifetime consequences?
Tough.
Looking back on it all though, sometimes there is no decision to be made. Sometimes as a parent you sign those forms, knowing that you have to. There is no choice; and you agree to that surgery understanding that there is a good outcome. In the end, the decision isn't hard.
I feel really bad but the hardest decisions have been those involving my pets. I do feel the weight of playing god almost - actually deciding if a precious pet gets to live or die. Even when I've known it was the right thing to do; when the animal was old and suffering or had cancer and there was no hope, the decision was still hard and I sobbed having to make it. Deciding to have Maya's injuries treated and operated on was difficult too. On one hand I knew she had a good chance of recovering and leading a good life afterwards....but the costs have been enormous and I'm losing a lot of sleep wondering how I'm going to manage. The thought of getting her put to sleep because of expense just broke my heart...and I couldn't do it. I couldn't say no.
I guess time will tell if I made the right decision.
