After the lights fade....

Rehearsing the nightmare. (photo credit: Jennifer Tran)

It’s addictive, the adrenaline that comes from performing; the collaborative process of taking an idea brought to the floor by one brilliant creative mind and then exploring, pushing, creating, experimenting, trying things out, recycling, rehashing and playing together.
Of going places in ones mind where you open up the Pandora’s box of daydreams and nightmares, secrets and desires, sorrows, joys and imagination; discovering aspects of yourself that you either never knew, were too afraid to explore or that you hid away because they were so precious that you needed to protect them from the scrutiny of others.
But in the safe environment, away from all that, you find a place where you can dare to give form to those dreams. You get to.set free that dancer, that diva, that beautiful creature you’re secretly proud of and want to show others.
The lights come up and there she is - open, unafraid, bold even. She is there in the light, the shadow and the darkness and invites others in to glimpse part of her soul. She pours the whole of her being into the character she inhabits, being a totally different creature to the person she is in her everyday life while at the same time knowing full well that in that moment, she is being everything she actually is. There is a stripping away of the roles she is expected to play - the dedicated mother, the wife, the daughter, the executive assistant, the friend - so that she can explore the light and the dark of who she is. Dancer, dreamer, envious bitch, wistful wanderer, diva, fashionista, lost, haunted, dreamer of nightmares.
Other beings inhabit that place with her and together they move and pulse giving and receive energy to and from each other as they weave together a world that is both familiar and foreign. Time and space cease to exist. The only places are those circles of changing light in which they stand. 

The energy is electric, the air alive with imagination. Dreams take form as they move through the space together; slowly…and in stillness. They discover together that stillness has it’s own energy and they learn to be still and just feel the dream unfolding.
The music carries them through the dream, evoking stillness at first and then leading them to a crescendo of chaos where bodies collide, writhe and give release to a shared energy. It’s easy to get carried off in that moment. Carefully rehearsed ideas can sometimes be forgotten in those moments, but the audience remains oblivious and the players just carry on, finding their way back to where they should be. It all becomes part of the dream anyway.
Then the music fades. The stage lights dim. The house lights come on, and she finds herself in a line with all the other beautiful creatures, taking a bow and feeling so high on adrenaline and endorphin she wants to do it all again. 

The dream is over but the memory remains - even in the exhausted muscles of her body she remembers.

31 Days - Thank you to a thing I love

In rehearsal with Weave.

Dear Dance,

You thought I was going to write a Thank You to Running, didn't you? No, this time it's you.

You have lived within me for as long as I can remember. Ever since I chose that hot pink leotard and slippers and pink headband, you've resided within. I loved ballet. I can easily remember those classes in the Yarram Hall. I can still hear some of the music Mrs Stoddart played as she would have us practice positions, skips, gallops. I still remember the positions of hands and feet. I can hear Mrs Stoddart instructing us as we stood at the barre, "Point, lift, point, close!" I can still remember focusing on the EXIT sign so I wouldn't get dizzy whilst spinning. Hearing some of the music from Disney ' s Fantasia always takes me back to being on stage for Alice In Wonderland.

When we left in 1974 that heralded the end of my formal ballet training but oh how I missed you! I begged to go to classes in the towns we ended up in but it wasn't to be. Still, you stayed within and I found myself choreographing my own routines to music I loved. Looking back on it now some of the moves were ridiculous but I loved creating and moving. Sometimes friends would join me and we'd create routines to perform for the class. Simon Smith and His Amazing Dancing Bear and The Rainmaker being two memorable ones!

I've loved you for as long as I can remember as you've helped me release some of the in explainable emotions that seem too big to express sometimes.

Thanks to being involved with Weave I've finally found a place where I've been able to explore the dance in new ways. Here I've discovered that there are so many ways that dance can be created and explored.

THANK you for bringing me to a place where I've finally "landed in my own skin" and become appreciative and grateful for this body I inhabit. You've been the facilitator for this and I'm so incredibly glad that I've been given a chance to be able to express myself through you.