Where the rubber hits the road & I put my money where my mouth is.

Over the past number of years I have changed my whole philosophy on education, learning and schooling. A long while back when my kids were much younger I wanted to home school them but felt grossly inadequate to do so; thinking that I needed to have some sort of curriculum in place, complete with lesson plans and learning benchmarks they all had to reach. I did dabble in homeschooling for a while, using a distance education based curriculum that was provided through a Christian resource, however we only did that for six months and it was a very half-hearted venture...mainly because I was working part time and was the sole income earner for the family. By the time I got home I was too tired to check on what the kids had done for the day and on my days off schooling the kids was the last thing I felt like. After six months the kids went back to their private Christian school...but none of us were wholehearted about it.

And honestly, the education they received at that school was less than second rate, nor were they nurtured in the way we were promised....but that's a story for another day...

This year Georgia, my youngest, was in her final year of High School - it's known as the VCE here in Victoria - the Victorian Certificate of Education. I say she was in VCE because today she left school. I signed her out.

She just didn't want to be there. She couldn't see the point on her classes, didn't agree with the pressure the teachers put on her to churn out work and started not to be able to see a pathway in front of her. In spite of all this I was expecting her to stay, to attend classes, get her VCE before she left...and honestly, I was beginning to feel like a bully, making her do something she clearly did not want to be doing...and this was reflected by her results.

It all came to a head for her this week and it was clear to all concerned that something needed to change. 

So, we talked about what she was really interested in....and what she's really interested in is learning Auslan (Australian Sign Language) and writing, neither of which really relies upon the attainment of VCE. Both can be done through other avenues. 

Today we both went up to the school and had a meeting with her Year Level Co-ordinator, Student Welfare & Pathways Team. It was such a positive and fruitful discussion where Georgia was able to talk about her own future and take up the reins of her own life. Together we all helped her find her own pathways, all of which are filled with possibility. She will even be able to dabble in "taster" courses for both Auslan and Professional Writing before she decides which to pursue. She may even decide to do both! Or neither!

Point is, she's now empowered to steer her own course. And that feels good.

Does it matter that she won't have that official piece of paper that says she has reached a certain level of acceptable education? No, no...and again NO! I don't believe it's ever too late to start learning, or to finish something. One day she might go to TAFE and get her VCE...but the choice will be hers...not because her parents have expected her to get it. 

Of course we're nervous. It's a whole new world for her now. She's not bound by the familiar routine of classes and schedules...but that new world is also filled with endless possibilities. 

So I guess this is where she starts her unschooling. I guess this is where we all start our unschooling...when we leave formal learning and start learning about what you really need to do life. School never taught me how to lodge a tax return, how to vote, how to do a household budget, how to cook, knit, sew, crochet, tend a vegetable garden, set up an Excel spreadsheet, format a document, apply for a job, manage people...and yet these are skills I've needed. I taught myself...and I got by through trial and error. Not only did I get by, but I'm doing alright....and I don't think I've ever really had to use the Pythagorean Theorem I was taught in school.

And I'm sure Georgia's going to do alright too.

Being inspirational/encouraging/heroic - take your pick.

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I find living on the fringes of the disabled community confusing.

There seems to be so many rules to navigate, political correctness to adhere to. Some are fine with "this" wording, some are not. Some believe it's good to see the person and not the disability, some seem to want their disability to be seen right out there loud and proud. Fundraising for the disabled can be seen as good, but on the other hand some see it as condescending and a message that the disabled need to be helped to get by. Like me as the person I am but for God's sake, don't call me inspirational because that's condescending...apparently.

See what I mean?  If I'm confused and I'm kind of "in the club" I imagine that the "non-disabled" would be walking around on eggshells constantly. I imagine the internal questions would run as follows:

"Do I look at them or not?"
"Is it okay to ask them about their disability or not?"
"Do I offer help?"
"Is it okay to tell them that they inspire me or will that offend?"

Apparently, to some, it does offend and I am at a loss to work out why.

When someone tells me that I inspire them I am touched and humbled. Humbled because, on the surface, I don't feel as though I am doing anything great to warrant such esteem. I carry on a regular life, work a job, pay my bills and taxes, love my kids, get annoyed with my kids, do my shopping, drive my car. I work on my physical fitness, I try and better myself through reading and introspective soul searching. Nothing more than any human being would do on a regular basis.

But maybe these kind people see what I choose not to - and note that I said CHOOSE not to, for to dwell too much on these things would possibly send me down to a place I don't want to go. I'll admit that. Our specialist once told me that one child with a difference/disability/medical problem in a family puts an extraordinary amount of pressure on a parent and within the family. Multiply that by four and you have super-extraordinary  pressure. I never wanted to look at that. I never wanted to admit that, for fear that I would give my amazing children the message that it was all too much - and it was NEVER too much because my whole attitude has been that I must be strong enough to be their parent because otherwise this challenge would not have been appointed to me.

But it is a super-extraordinary amount of pressure, and work to be done, and hurdles to get over...and we do. Together. And maybe that's what people see and are inspired by it. And we do it despite and in spite of what gets thrown our way. Yes there are times where getting out of the car and entering a crowded shopping mall is a challenge. But what's the alternative? Think about it for a minute.... What's the alternative? Sit at home and watch DVD's all day? Hide away and not get out and about? Online shopping?

Stuff that.

So we face the challenge and we get out there and participate in life. I lift motorized scooters into the boot of my car, I carry people across sand so they can enjoy a day at the beach, we hang heavy shopping bags on the back of wheelchairs, we put up with rude people on occasion......actually more than on occasion. We put ourselves out there because life is ours and it is there to be enjoyed - every single wonderful second of it.

And while we're putting ourselves out there we are also "inspiring" people - and that's a good thing. A really good thing. "You inspire me" is not a dirty phrase in my book. If we have encouraged others to get out there and live your life just by the fact that we get out there among "you all" and live our ordinary lives then I am happy. Deliriously so.

So, contrary to the political correctness that seems so important with "my mob", I'm not going to jump down your throat and accuse you of being "so condescending". I'll probably thank you....and go away and feel inspired by you, knowing that the world really is made up of mostly nice people who just let us get out there and be ordinary.

2013 - One Word

Simplicity.

This is my theme word for 2013.

I don't know when this word started to resonate with me. I think it came slowly throughout last year as I pledged to adhere to my 2012 theme word - Kindness. Kindness came in the form of being kind to myself - body, soul and spirit. I nurtured myself holistically and in turn felt kindness flowing out to others and the world around me. My mind became less cluttered with chaotic thoughts, my body felt cleansed from eating good, nutritious food and strong through regular exercise.

I found that the simple things in life meant the most to me - spending time with my beautiful family, walking in the fresh air, a good book, hand made things, second hand things, open spaces, calm spaces, music....and silence. Christmas was a very simple affair with small gifts and a simple feast at my sisters place, shared amongst family.

So it just naturally came to me that 2013 needed to be a year of simplicity.

* I intend pursuing things that promote a sense of peace within and without, unity with those I love the most.

* I want to be fully present in each moment, enjoying them for what they are; not mourning the past or thinking about the future but just being.

* I will spend more meaningful time with my children, learning more about them as the adults they are and still exploring the world around us together.

* I plan to declutter my home, going through all my possessions and things and donating them to support agencies so that others may benefit from them.

* I intend living simply and sensibly by asking myself if what I purchase is really needed. Can I live without it? Can I obtain it second hand?

* I want to eat as organically and as simply as possible; nurturing my body and those of my family with good, nutritious, wholesome food.

* I would like to nurture my creative side by making things with my hands - sewing, quilting, knitting, crocheting, painting, cooking, baking. I'd like to bless others with things I make, pouring love into the gift I make.

I'm excited to be in 2013. I feel that I have journeyed a long way from the person I once was. Every step of the journey to this point has been worth it. Every. Single. Step. I've stopped judging life and experiences and things as good or bad. The just ARE. They are all just life experiences that we can learn from if we choose to. I'm choosing to, and honestly I have been more peaceful ever since I decided to make that choice.

Happy 2013 everyone.

Making lemonade

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No, this is not a home-making post, so if you're looking for a recipe for delicious homemade lemonade you'll be sadly disappointed. However, if you happen to know of a good lemonade recipe, I'm all ears!

Our house was egged yesterday. Again. Yes, it's happened before and it will happen again. Actually.I'm expecting another onslaught today sometime. It is still the weekend and the neighbourhood kids are bored. Heaven help us when school holidays start at the end of the week!

Our attackers are rather bold. They will do it at any time of day, circling the house on their bikes and calling out the "m" word. I filmed one of them on my phone yesterday. Evidence I guess.

I'm choosing to act in love. I greet the boys and tell them my name so hopefully one day, when they get bored with what they're doing they'll choose to get to know me rather than attack us simply because of our genetic condition. Human behaviour truly baffles me. We reduce ourselves to the animalistic instinct of picking on the different, the weak, the infirm, knowing full well we are doing so rather than acting based on the instinct of survival of the fittest. This is what the animal kingdom is genetically engineered to do. Human beings were designed to do things differently to animals. Unfortunately some human beings are unaware of this fact.

I'm choosing to rejoice in the fact that the front windows of our house are sparking clean now that I've washed the eggy residue off. I'd been meaning to wash the windows for the longest time. There's nothing like the smell of rotten egg to stir you into action!

I'm choosing to not let these boys know they're actually getting to us, that their actions hurt. I'm choosing not to react in ways other than making our environment clean and safe. If I discover where these young boys live I will inform their parents, but that will be my only retaliatory action - unless of course the missiles become dangerous objects; in which case I'll be going to the police.

This is one small aspect of living with difference. It's typical, it's annoying, it can be disheartening; but I choose to remember that it is only a minority of society that chooses to act this way. The rest just let us be. I choose not to define myself based on the ignorant actions of others. I know who I am and it makes me wonder if our attackers are happy with themselves and their lives. Their need to attack others simply for being different from them seem to suggest otherwise.