Post Convention Blues

All has been quiet here on the blogging front. I have been acutely aware of the fact that I haven't been blogging, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about it. Actually I have been thinking about it a lot...and pondering....and reviewing...

More on that later.

The biggest reason I haven't been blogging lately is that I have been in Adelaide SA for the annual convention of the Short Statured People of Australia.

I don't know if there are words to describe a convention. I'm actually finding it really difficult to express what a convention means. It's equal parts exciting, fun, inspiring, challenging, emotional, overwhelming, heartwarming and many other adjectives.

At the moment the post-convention blues have hit good and proper. I got my first taste of post-convention blues waaaay back in September 1980 and although they've never hit with quite the severity since that very first time, they still hit and stay for about a week or so.

Late afternoon at the convention site in Belair.

I can't really explain why the PC-blues have hit hard this year, nor can I explain the accompanying anxiety that is plaguing me right at this very moment. I had a wonderful time. The company was amazing, the sites we visited were terrific and the days where we were educated and informed were....educational and informative! I have come away from the convention feeling motivated and determined to give back to an organisation that has given so much to me.

Short Arts Painting Workshop

One of the biggest highlights for me was the fact that the Short Arts Collective seemed to gain some momentum. For over 20 years now there has been a very strong sporting component within the SSPA which has been wonderful - giving short statured people the opportunity to participate in competitive and recreational sports activities. Sports within the SSPA has gone from strength to strength over this time and it has been great to see. However, a number of "we creatives" wanted to see the Arts represented in a positive way as well, giving opportunities for short statured people to express themselves creatively in whichever way, shape or form they chose. As a result, the Short Arts Collective was born and, up until this convention, the Collective has been finding it's feet slowly but surely. 

This year at the convention I facilitated a painting workshop where I led a group of participants in a painting exercise that explored colour and shape to express emotion. Although I was nervous about it, it proved to be a sucess with participants all having a go and then expressing how nice it was to just sit and create something. We had lovely conversations happening around the table as we painted and it seemed to be a time of reflection and peace for all participants. I was really proud of everyone. They all created something that was very individual.

The Short Arts Collective also launched it's first book - Letters to Myself. Such a labour of love this book was! It was a very emotional experience for the authors who were in attendance at the convention and were able to read their stories. I tried to explain to the room that the words written were actually our hearts in written form on the page and was unprepared for the impact of reading my own story to the room had on me. We have almost sold out of the first printing of the book which was so exciting for us all. Not only that, but many other potential wriers have also been inspired to tell their own stories as well, so we look forward to the next volume of Letters to Myself in two years time.

But yes, I am experiencing anxiety (and even some paranoia) since getting home. I've thought about this and realised that although I had a wonderful time I also deliberately placed myself in situations where I am normally uncomfortable. I spoke up when I was passionate about something, challenging processes that have been in place since the association's inception. I taught, facilitated, led....even though I don't feel confident in teaching. I challenged and confronted when I am no way comfortable about doing so...and when it was all over and I came back home the stress caught up with me and manifested in anxiety that is only relieved when I sleep, although pottering around my house and putting my environment to rights is helping too.

I know this is only a temporary thing; one that will resolve with the passage of time and reflection, but it is still something that needs to be endured right now.

What do you do when you are experiencing anxiety?