Halfway house

This weekend has been a time of having the house filled. My daughters friends are here and they have made the house come alive with laughter and stories and music and wine and cider and silliness. I love it. I love how the faces of my kids become animated in the presence of these two vibrant people. I love how they just come into my home and relax. It's what I've always wanted - a home where others feel relaxed; not because I'm good at entertaining. Far from it! I suck at entertaining, but I love how people can drift in here and feel as though they belong.

Having said that though I find myself at times wistfully longing for the days when my children were little ones; where there was routine - particular mealtimes, bath times, story time and bed times. There would actually be an end to the day where the children were all curled up asleep in their beds and then there would come the time where grown ups could have their time; where parents could finish off chores in peace or spend some quality time alone, talking about hopes and dreams and their own silliness, watch a movie together and then perhaps go to bed and make love in the quietness of the house.

Now there's always someone still up when my day ends. Sometimes I can get up at 2am and there will be an adult child watching a movie or surfing the net or talking with a random friend who may be staying over that night. There are bodies in the house all the time. My days off work are never spent alone these days. Time by myself is a precious commodity.

Today I feel over stretched. I long for solitude.