Hope and new directions

I've been saying for the longest time that I've wanted to work in my local community. My heart and passion is in the field of Early Childhood. I just love children and their wide-eyed view of the world. I loved it when I had three children under the age of five at home. They were so interesting, so fun.

Back in 2009 I decided to enrol at TAFE to do my Certificate III in Children's Services. I loved it. For my first placement I had a pretty dodgy centre. It was poorly run and had a drop dead boring program for the poor little mites but the children were just beautiful. No, they weren't angels...but I think some of that was a reflection of the poor quality care they were receiving. My second placement was a dream - a well run centre with staff who were well qualified and passionate about their job. They cared for the children and the children basked in it. It was a centre I would have happily sent my children to if I needed to. It was that centre that confirmed to me that yes, I did want a career in child care or as a pre-school assistant.

However, here I am. Seemingly stuck in a four day a week, 10am to 4pm office job. Don't get me wrong, I work with the loveliest people you could ever hope to work for. Everyone is so positive, no one thinks their job is more important than another's. It's a great place to work but it's just not a job that melts my butter. It's a job, not a career. Up until now I haven't seriously been pursuing my dream of working with children. I guess it had something to do with the fact that I had been maintaining the status quo whilst in the holding pattern that was my marriage.

Now I'm out of the holding pattern and I feel it's time for change. I really, really, really want this. I want to work in the field, I want to work in my local community. There's no point sitting here saying, "I don't like this anymore! I wish I had a job in child care!" I'm going to get up and get one...in my local area. No more commuting to the city four days a week. If it's going to be, it's up to me.

Having said all that though I am a little scared. This little black duck likes things that are stable, predictable, familiar. 2011 has been a year of enormous change. My eldest daughter moved out of home, my parents sold all their worldly possessions, bought a motor-home and are currently somewhere west of Woop Woop, my marriage dissolved after 25 years...and now here I am, actively seeking and invoking change. Am I out of my cotton-picking mind?

"No," answers the still, small voice within me. "No. You are not. You are just making decisions based on your own goals and gut feelings. It's time." My counsellor is constantly asking me, "What is your gut telling you?" For the first time ever, I'm listening to my gut constantly. It hasn't steered me wrong yet.

Today I applied for two different jobs in the Early Childhood field - one as an assistant in a Kindergarten (which is the one I REALLY want!) and the other in a child care centre in the 3 - 5 year old room. Both are in my local area. Gee I hope I at least get an interview. I also applied for a job as a medical receptionist. No, it's not in Early Childhood, but it is in my local area so it's a step in the right direction, a new direction.

Leisa is starting to boldly go where she once feared to tread.