Running for my life

I went for a jog this morning. Yes, an actual jog. My sister Serrin jogs every morning after she takes the kids to school. This is part of her own therapy. She has found that jogging helps her calm herself and helps her put things in perspective. I thought I'd give it a go this morning, using the technique Ses told me about - body straighter, small, low steps. It worked a treat and I was able to jog further than I have before without a break. Eventually I hope to work up to being able to jog the perimeter of the reserve without stopping. Not that I stopped today, but I did slow to a brisk walk twice.

As a result I'm on a bit of an aerobic high at the moment. The endorphins are surging and I have a wonderful sense of well being. It's the same feeling that used to follow after a good session at the gym. Who needs drugs when you can enjoy a feeling like this?

I realized how comfortable I am in my own skin when I feel like this. It's only when I am given the message that this is not ok, that this is strange and a source of amusement that I feel as though I hate this and wish it were different.

Do I wish it were different? Yes. I do. But I am also happy and content to be in this body too. I am strong. I am healthy. I love to nourish my body with good, wholesome food. I love to keep my body healthy, supple and strong with exercise. I love to nourish my spirit and soul by surrounding myself with people I love and who love me and enjoy laughter and stimulating conversation with them. I love my life. I need to remember not to look for what I think I want but to realize that I have everything I ever wanted right in this moment here.

I am more than blessed.