Leaving home, starting life.

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It's been a long time since my youngest one started school - 2002 in fact. I only have vague memories of her starting. We sent our kids to a very non-traditional school at the time, which was very small, filled with people our kids had known most of their lives, and very, very....disorganized and dysfunctional. Why? Don't ask me. I'm still at a loss as to why, but we learned lessons regardless so for that I'm grateful. Let's just say we were in a very different place to where we are now and would make different choices if we could do it over.

For our youngest daughter's secondary schooling we simply sent her to the local Secondary College. This ended up being the best decision . She received a lot of support from staff, made many friends and got really involved in the Theatre Studies and Drama groups. Despite all this though, she left school in the middle of last year, feeling as though it wasn't for her as she wanted to explore other educational options. She did a couple of short courses in subjects she was interested in, giving her a taste of what she might like to explore in the future. As a result of this, the year took on a whole different feel. School holidays came and went without us noticing and VCE (Victorian Certificate of Education) exams that my daughter would have sat if she had've remained at school were something other families were worried about. I have to admit to it all feeling very strange when the year was drawing to a close. I didn't have to fill out orders from book lists, think about uniforms and fill out enrollment paperwork and gather medical reports for "special needs" funding. When the new year clicked over this year it occurred to me that this was the first time in over twenty years that I didn't have to think about purchasing new school shoes, checking uniforms and wondering if the lunch boxes and drink bottles needed replacing.

It was kind of strange really. When you're a brand new Mum one of the things seasoned parents tell you is, "Really cherish each moment because it just goes by so quickly!" Of course when you're smack bang in the middle of you umpteenth sleepless night with your colicky, screaming offspring you just can't wait for it to be over, but before you know it, it is over and you're looking into the face of your baby who is now an adult.

And you wonder, as Talking Heads sings, "My God! How did I get here?" (Once In A Lifetime)

Regardless of the fact that she didn't complete her VCE, our daughter applied for courses at various universities around Melbourne, hoping to be able to study Creative Arts. She did this all herself, following her heart and her instincts. It was with great excitement earlier this year that she received an offer for the course that was her first preference - Bachelor of Creative Arts at a University in the northern suburbs (just goes to show that you can have a future without your VCE, folks!). Since then she has been a flurry of activity - selecting her subjects, organising her timetable and finding a place to live on campus. She did this all herself. It was this that made me realise that my time as Mama was over.

It's their turn. It's her turn.

That being said, last weekend was rough. We got her packed up and moved her over into her college residence. Walking into the room where she was going to live was a surreal experience. We checked out the shared kitchen space, laundry and bathroom spaces knowing that we had to let her go and work out how best to function in this unfamiliar environment. She was excited and nervous, happy and sad all at once. I understood all that conflict because my Mama heart was so divided - explosive pride, happy that she was doing what she wanted to do, excited for her, yet so very sad that she was leaving, melancholy that my baby really wasn't a baby anymore and worried that she wouldn't enjoy it. It was hard leaving her there, but I knew she was going to be ok. She's ready. I know she is.

As her Dad and I drove home that night I had two songs in my heart and in my head.

Slipping My Fingers by ABBA which I played after dropping her off at her first day of school all those years ago and Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift.

New Mamas....believe people when they encourage you to cherish every little moment....because it's true.....they grow up so quickly.