Mama done gone

Gone are the days Mama would tuck their clean, warm, pyjama clad little bodies into their beds.

Gone are the days Mama would read them a quiet story, her gentle rhythm soothing them into sleep.

Gone are the days she would kiss their sleepy little heads and murmur loving words to protect them as they journeyed through the dream country.

Gone are the days where she was knower of all things, the keeper of secrets, the one who could calm a storm, soothe a fear and kiss away worries.

Now it is she who journeys to the dream country before them, whilst they explore the hours of the dark. Although they still take comfort in the knowledge of the presence of her loving embrace, they no longer need it constantly. Mama is no longer the knower of all things. There are others who hold wisdom and knowledge. They seek it for themselves, although they still return to her at times, wanting to share with her their explorations and thoughts and sometimes their dreams.

At times she is wistful, longing for those warm, chubby little bodies in all their roundness and innocence. She looks around and sometimes searches for the little faces filled with hope and laughter, trust and fearlessness. She remembers being Mama and her heart aches that she didn't hold them just that little bit longer, didn't read just one more story and let that song just die on her lips before it had even been sung. She longs for the days of toys over the floor, little naked bodies running with glee, fingerprints and footprints, sand and dirt, leaves and bugs.

They are still hers. Deep in her heart they are still the cheeky, chubby imps they once were, but she sees them grown - adults in their own right, confident and assured of who they are. They're still only starting out on their own, but she has every confidence that they'll be okay. She wonders if Mama still needs to be. One of them still calls her Mama and its like a balm to her soul, an anchor that assures her she's still safely harboured where she always wanted to be.

But Mama's done gone. And it's the way it should be. She watches her little birds soaring in the sky, knowing that they'll fly back from time to time. It's now time for her to explore other skies and dream other dreams.